Agony

I’m tired of being open in spirit, open in love and open in my heart; I get violated. Whenever I think I met the perfect stranger, they leave me emptier than before.

My heart is always bleeding. Forever bleeding out the love I know better than to give. I love on myself, but you were that somebody else I felt deserved the love too.

You knew that I loved you. You would study my soul through my eyes. You knew it was all real and found the comfort in my love. You knew you weren’t ready for me, but you kept taking my love; you needed it. You poured a little where you felt I needed watering, but it would quickly dry up.

There’s no way you could care.

I know you still love me, but your ego is bigger than the both of us. I know you want to speak, but there’s nothing you could say. Too long you left it like this and the more you wait, the farther the road of resentment goes. In the interim, you’re ripping me to shreds with your silence and avoidance.

There’s no way you could care.

All the cuts to my consciousness and scarceness of my air. I’m fighting for a cause that you will not reveal to me. While you ignore me, de-center me and watch me bleed out as you dance into all the sunsets since we last spoke.

There’s no way you could care.

Although, it hurts to see you okay; it feels good to know you are. I hope you’re growing. I hope you don’t do this to someone else who loves you, “forever and temporary” makes sense now. Forever you would love me, but you will never consistently be there.

There’s no way you could care.

Who loves like this? Swoops in when I hit rock bottom, uplift me and leave me there to do better without you…

You love like this. You do care bc you know I don’t deserve you loving me like this. But only you know this love. That’s why you give me this bc it’s all you got was this.